These last several months have been complete and udder anarchy. I would give anything for a sense of calm and peace right now.
My health and I didn't even last a month in Richmond, my asthma took a sharp decline, and I was sent home.
I came home the weekend before Thankgiving. My parents were understanding, and we had another family over for the holiday, which was amazing. Highlight of last several months for sure.
I spent a month at home, playing housekeeper and playing to go back to school that next semester.
My grandmother has a stroke. She's already dealing with muscular dystrophy (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscular…
) due to a bad reaction to a vaccine. I came out to Memphis TN from Va to drive her around and help her until she's doing better.
I'm not driving anymore, since she claims I am "an incompetent driver".
Driving has never been may favorite thing to do, and driving around here is terrible. (People, turn signals were invented for a reason!) And of course she's quick to point out how I haven't been driving very long. A van driver rear ended us, (it was a minor accident, no damage done to either car.) and he came up to make sure we were okay, and to give us his info if it turned out we weren't. He's all apologetic, and she goes right out and tell him he shouldn't be sorry, that it was my fault. He kept insisting it wasn't my fault, and she told him that of course it wasn't his fault, seeing as I'm "a horrible driver." He backs off, and we continue on to the house she cooks and does minor chores for.
Yep, she can't take care of her house, but she's taking care of someone else's! She ranting and scream at me, and so I try to leave, which of course, just angers her more.
So I end up in that neighborhood in the middle of street, crying to myself. I walk a little while, and end up in a YMCA with a nice woman who listened to me and prayed with me. Thank God for random kind-hearted people! She drove me back to the house, where my grandmother has been on the phone with her employer complaining about me. How that is any of their business, I'll never know.
I've been trying to a be patient. It's not a strong suit of mine. I'm constantly at my wits end, and trying not to do something impulsive. People keep telling me she's angry with herself and taking it out on me. She seems perfectly content with herself!
I don't know why I'm writing this, other than I need to get this all out and be able to look at it. if anyone reads this, got tips on how to restrain one's self? Any advice on patience? I'll take whatever I can get.
Since it's 2015, I've been thinking of what I want to do with this year. Being unhappy isn't on that list.
"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."- Martha Washington
I'm working on it. There's no 'happily ever after' just 'and they continued on'. and that I shall!